Why this dance project?
Those of you who know me well, know that dance has been a part of my life since the moment I could move. I have taught thousands of dancers in my lifetime, and I have directed or assisted in directing hundreds of shows and productions. Through the betrayal that I have experienced in the past several years from loved ones and friends, I have completely lost most of myself. I am trying to rebuild that to put me back together the way I am supposed to be, and this project is part of that healing process.
Dance is one of the floatation devices that has kept me from drowning. I sold my studio, my dream, half of my heart, to work on a marriage that at the moment I had no idea was already gone. In trying to save my marriage I gave up so many things that were me, the things that defined me that helped me and that gave me the self-worth I needed to survive. I don’t know if I regret it yet, but it wrenches at my heart every time I think back and then I still get a hollow feeling in my heart that I really did lose it all (except my two tiny humans).
I lost my dream of my family and what that looked like to me, I lost my dream of sharing my life to dancers in a safe place that I had worked so hard to build, I had given up relationships, dream jobs, and friendships to save something I had no idea was so far gone. I TRULY FELT LIKE I WAS DROWNING!
So I felt stripped to the very bone, and as I connect with this amazing song “Cleanse You” by Calee Reed it describes exactly what I felt my Father in Heaven was doing to me. He whispers “I did not bring you here to drown you but to cleanse you” It still feels so lonely so isolated and I feel like so many things have been taken from me that I don’t want to live without, but I am turning my life over and TRYING TO BE PATIENT as he rebuilds me to my best of my ability.
It absolutly mends a part of my broken heart every time I get another submission of this dance, and gives me the courage and strength to find my way back in the dance world with my inspirational dance company! I love you all so much, and thank you again for letting me share my two cents with you!
The waves come high
My ship is sinking
And I’m thinking of letting go
The waters deep
And I am gasping
Struggling to hear you, Lord
Captain of my soul
Why did you lead me here to this uncharted sea?
Did you bring me here just to drown me?
“What if I didn’t bring you here to drown you but to cleanse you?”, He whispers.
And “What if you chose to breathe me in?
Let this wash you clean a-gain,” He whispers.
He whispers, “I know the waters deep but if you only knew it isn’t meant to drown you,”
He whispers. “But to cleanse you.”
The sun sets low
My faith is failing
And I’m sailing deep into the night
The fog rolls in and I am searching
Trying in vain again to find Your guiding light