This was the quote I read a few nights ago on Pinterest that inspired me to write my last blog post. I shared this quote on Instagram, but not on Facebook.
I do apologize for offending others for sharing my honest and true feelings on finding God through Satan’s perseverance. I cannot change how I have learned of God’s existence, but want you to remember that it has been my mistakes that have brought me closer to him, not by my perfections.
Soon I will post my article “On Perspectives”, and I know that every perspective is different and we all see things differently. One can look at a situation and see black and the other one can see white, in the same situation. I am aware that my story can be interpenetrated in many different ways, and I am grateful for all interpretations. I do feel the need to share my specific interpretation of my article, because others have assumed a negative interpretation from it. I want to be a little mores specific on what I hoped for others to learn from it. I appreciate different perspectives and love to learn from others feelings and interpretations, so I can be more aware of how people perceive me.
The things I was hoping others would get from my last article were that Satan can make the opinion of others haunt your mind, but your worth is found in God. The quote I read gave me the inspiration to write my article, but the article was inspired by my life, and how I am often told of others opinions and thoughts on who I am. It was also inspired by the pain and hurt that so many people I love are facing today. It was not meant to have others assume my current situation or even to be focused on my situation at all, but on where I find God.
If you read my blog post carefully, you will find that it is about me, and me alone. It is about the choices I have had to make and the struggle I have constantly had in accepting what God wants me to do. It is about me knowing that when I finally accept God’s will, I am given comfort no matter how hard or how long it takes to accept. The post is about how through the struggles I am facing today I just need to hold on, even when it feels easier to let go of my faith. It is a Thank you to Satan and his perseverance, because of it, I know God is real.
This blog is something I started to write long ago when I was struggling with fertility and faith through my own personal heartache, and the comments or feelings I was given, that really affected me. It was not written or meant to be focused on the trial I am facing today, but focused on the knowledge I have that God exists and He is real to ME.
The specific struggle that this article is based on is a very sensitive struggle that directly involves my husband and I, yes there are other struggles I am facing, but they are not in our control. This situation and knowledge was revealed to us the moment RJ was born, and has been a constant struggle to endure. There is nothing wrong with RJ, other than his uncontrollable cuteness. It was just that a prayer we had in our heart for years, had now brought on a new perspective.
The help and peace I need for this situation will be found within my own heart, might, mind, and spirit. I am a very open person and I will share anything with those I love and trust, you can ask me anything you want and I will reveal to you the things I can. I have no hard feelings towards anyone and I love everyone, but I do have sorrow in my heart for those that chose to judge others upon things that they hear and don’t find out for themselves. I was not writing the article to reveal a struggle and seek attention or anyone to feel sorry for me, but to bare the testimony I have and how it helps me through uncomfortable and hard times.
I know that your concern for me is with innocent and pure intentions, and I appreciate and love you for having those concerns. The phone calls and misunderstanding have caused my parents to jump to wrong assumptions about my feelings, and have spread stories that are untrue to others. Even in my attempts to help them understand that this is my own personal struggle, it has caused even more pain that could have been avoided by asking me the one who wrote the article, and who knows the true struggle I’m in. I thank you for your love and concerns and know that you want the best for me and my family. I want you to know it has given me strength to continue the journey that I am still too weak to bear.
If you are curious about what I am going through I encourage you to private message me or call me, I would be the one that knows the most. I know it is weird to think I would not share with my parents this specific situation, but it is solely because of the love and respect I have for them. They tend to take on my sorrows, and I don’t want them or anybody else to carry the burden of my life, but to just be there as a support. There are several situations in my life that I have not shared with them, because they are my parents and their answers are driven from their heart and the immediate comfort they want me to have. Sometimes being pushed out of my comfort zone is exactly what I need to learn and grow the most.
The reason I feel the need to explain, is because this blog is a place I have chose to share my two cents, even when it is hard for me to do. It is not a place to spread gossip or pain to others, but to help others who may need the extra guidance in life. It is also a place where I feel I can share my faith, the faith that gives me the ability to see the good in everyone and gives me the ability to love them. This is my two cents and you do not have to believe it, trust it, or share it, you don’t even have to read it.
The purpose of this blog is to help those that share my faith to have strength, and those that don’t share my faith to know and understand that I am very aware of my faith and know it does not give me the ability to judge others. My faith only gives me the freedom to love everyone, and repent for the mistakes I constantly make. I have many family and friends that don’t share my faith, and I am grateful for the strength and love we give each other. I have read a talk lately that urged the members of my faith to stand strong and share their beliefs, and this is a place that I can do so. I will still share when I post a new article on Facebook, but from there it is your choice to read on.
Always remember if you chose to read on that I have no desires in life to hurt or inflict pain on others, but I do know that sometimes standing up for what I believe can cause others to be offended at who I am.
Again I do not require any of my friends or family to have a unity in faith, but a unity in love is what will keep us close.